Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Karin. Elizabeth. Willoughby.'s LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]

Sunday, May 28th, 2006
12:33 pm	One, Two, Twenty. Fuck. I'm not sure how to take this. Last year wasn't stressful, it was just another day. No anticipation no expectations. I went to work. I went home. I went to sleep. And it was over. This year is killing me. I don't want to grow up. I don't want this phase of my life to be over-not yet. I have so many things I wish I'd done differently. So many things I wish were different. I'm not supposed to be a grown up and still be in this place. I'm finally moving past last summer. And all the hurt. Which is good. It's healthly. I'm still dealing with being alone all the time. It's funny how even when you're with people you're alone. It's such a strange realization to know that no one will feel what you are feeling. No matter what they say. Sometimes I still break down and call. And then I freeze. You don't want to hear from me. After all this time. It's still impossible. I wish we had done things differently. I wish we had been adults then. But now we're adults now. I honestly expected us to do this together. I guess I'm caught off guard. Being an adult all by myself. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 25th, 2006
4:15 am	Reasons I hate being a grown up 1.mid life crises resulting in chopping off 6 inches of hair, hair which took 2 years to grow. 2. limbs fall asleep more often-and more deeply asleep....pins and needles to the worse degree imaginable 3.growing pains turn into grown up pains 4.you get fatter 5.work sucks 6.it's expensive 7.people call you m'am 8. you're expected to be responsible 9.remembering oilchanges, dr appointments,dental appointments,work schedules,AND what's showing on dateline that night is hard! 10.I'm bad at adult conversation-and add is no long an excuse 11. breaking up is hard to do-but dating is harder 12.everything tastes funny and feels funny on your tummy 13. things smell differently 14. you forget what cartoons are for 15.you can't remember what it felt like to be little anymore 16.drugs are bad. mk? 17. driving is insane-scary-fast-and expensive 18.people mug you 19.no more lollipops at the doctor's office 20. 1 word: gynocologist 21. you don't have time for friends, religion, or life anymore 22. you have to cook all the time 23. you don't get easter baskets anymore 24. christmas stockings have wrinkle cream and soap in them 25. barbie watches aren't cool anymore 26. you get weird looks for carrying a hello kitty lunch box to work 27. singing the theme song to saved by the bell or fresh prince will no longer gain friends 28. taxes 29.people are more vindictive 30. i still haven't grown! (Comment on this)
Friday, March 17th, 2006
1:36 am	1. EVER BEEN GIVEN A RING? one from daddy, one from a boy, one from grammy, one from mom 2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP? a year and a half to two years,on and off 3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED: a corona from matt on the beacch....but it wasn't a real gift bc it was mine originally 4. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU DROPPED YOUR CELL? um, i don't have one anymore...bc i dropped it in miami 5. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT? like a year ago 6. THING(S) YOU SPEND ALOT OF MONEY ON? sunglasses shoes concerts roadtrips tanning my hair makeup perfume (cavalli) clubs in other words....stuff i don't need but couldn't live without 7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE? quesadilla with lisa at margaritaville also, my mom cooked for me tonite! 8. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? teeth, butt, eyes, clothes 9. ONE FAVORITE SONG: carolina on my mind- james taylor 10. WHERE DO YOU LIVE? midlothian 11. HIGH SChOOL YOU ATTEND(ed): winter springs, monacan 12. CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER: sprahint....when i get it back 13. FAVORITE MALL STORE(S): arden b, guess, gap, betsy johnson, nicole miller, body shop, cr, victoria's secret 14. LONGEST JOB HELD: 3 years 15. RUBBER DICE? cover your stump before you hump 16. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE? when i'm intoxicated, yes 17. LAST WEDDING ATTENDED? 2 years ago? this summer i have 3 to go to...anyone wanna be my date? 18. FIRST FRIEND YOU'D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY? caroline or lisa 19. LAST TIME YOU ATTENDED CHURCH: june. or august. i forget. 20. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT: chick fil-a 21. FAVORITE RESTAURANT? hanna zushi, olive garden, casa or the don 22. DO YOU LIKE TO DANce? i'm a dancing fool 23. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS? we love moes and casa 24. CAN YOU COOK? im an amazing cook, im not concerned with modesty either.... 25. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE? 03 corolla 26. BEST KISSER? eric. but only bc it meant something. feelings make a kiss alot better than when there are none. 27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED? tonite at city walk thinking about old times with matt 28. MOST DISLIKED FOOD? i don't dig corn or popcorn. yeah. 29. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF: my wittiness, my eyes, and my ability to maintain patience 32. LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB? 16 hours- no break 33. FAVORITE MOVIE? my best friend's wedding 34. CAN YOU SING? when im alone in the car-im a star 35. LAST CONCERT ATTENDED? james taylor? jimmy buffett? i don't know 36. LAST KISS? like december? november? 37. LAST MOVIE RENTED: sex and the city 38. YOU NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT? burt's bees or my cell 39. FAVORITE VACATION SPOT? miami as of this week 40. DO YOU LIKE CHINESE FOOD? very much so 41. HOW BIG IS YOUR BED? big enough for me 42. IS YOUR ROOM CLEAN? never 43. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER? i have one of each 44. FAVORITE COMEDIAN? jerry seinfield 45. DO YOU SMOKE? nope 46. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES ON? i sleep in pjs 47. WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT? sprinkles my bear 48. DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK? depends on the couple 49. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE? once in a parkinglot 50. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST? depends on my mood jigga 51. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE? love it 52. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS? over easy 53. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY? i don't depend on it, but i like to pay attention 54. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? chelsea? 55. LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST? harrison 56. WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECIEVED? "meet me at club mansion"~ben 57. MCDONALDS OR BURGER KING? depends on mood 58. NUMBER OF PILLOWS? 10 59. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW? jeans, and a sequined tank top 60. PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC OR SONG? "i'll be the greatest fan of your life" 61. WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB & J? i don't do pb 62. CAN YOU PLAY POOL? i rock 63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SWIM? barely 64. FAVORITE ICE CREAM? strawberry or mint choc chip 65. DO YOU LIKE MAPS? i have a bunch in the car. 68. EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY? yes i love dressing up! 69.WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? spring but i also love winter 70. LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID? aliya being drunk for the 4th time ever 71. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING? 8 72. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER? snow, laughter, cuddling 73. LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET? when i hit someone when i was 17 75. NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET? katie 76. DO YOU THINK PIRATES ARE COOL OR OVERRATED? yes 77. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND? driving back to va. going to work. etc. 78. HAS ANYONE EVER CALLED YOU CRAZY AND MEANT IT? yes....bujt they were wrong 79. WHAT IS THE THIRD LETTER OF YOUR NAME? R 80. HOW OLD ARE YOUR PETS? 3 and 8months 81. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BACKPACK? pink of course 82. ARE YOU SICK? for once,no 83. DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL? yep...sometimes 84. IS THE BATHROOM DOOR OPEN? yes 85. ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP? yes 86. ARE YOU WATCHING MTV? no im watching jerry seinfield 88. DO YOU HAVE ON EYELINER? no. no makeup tonite 90. ARE YOU BLONDE? today, yes 91. DO YOU HAVE A MYSPACE? heck yes i do 92. ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL? no, unfortunately 93. DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND? maybe? 94. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME? bryant 95. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHING SUIT? green, black, pink, blue floral, i have 20480234802934 96. DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST? yes 97. DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH? i went to michigan for a few days 98. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE? kind of. we owned 2 boats 99. DO YOU HAVE A SISTER? yes 100. ARE YOU UPSTAIRS? nope. Two Names You Go By kdub and lips Two Parts of Your Heritage native american and irish Two things that scare you birds and spiders Two of Your Everyday Essentials berts bees and my computer Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now jeans and a tank Two of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists james taylor and michael buble Two Physical Things that Appeal to You butt and teet Two of Your Favorite Hobbies dancing and baking Two Things You Want Really Badly to be happy to be settled Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die to be amazing all around-be thin, etc, and to fall in love Two Things You Are Thinking About Now someone and sleep Two Stores You Shop At guess and ann taylor Two people you haven't talked to in a while eric and kraus Two favorite web sites yahoo and nbc 12 Two Favorite Sports basketball and lacrosse Two People who will fill this out no one will Two things you did last night? ran away and got served in miami Two shows you like to watch boy meets world and lizzy mcguire Two places you like to go to maymont and home Two Favorite People: lis and kel Two Favorite Subjects In School: american lit and business Two Favorite Places to eat: casa and og Two People that live in your house: me Two things you like about yourself: im nice and im very good at grammar Two things you ate today: my moms food! Two people you last talked to: caroline and my sister Two Things You're doing tomorrow: daytona and green beer (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 28th, 2006
2:27 pm	stolen from two people i care alot about. 1. Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work? -->actually, yes i have 2. Have you ever puked at a bar or club? --> never. thankfully 3. What's the largest age difference between yourself and someone you dated? --> 4 years 4. Have you ever dated someone you met online?: --> match.com haha. 5. Have you ever smoked pot at a concert? --> yes, i'm not gonna lie 6. Have you ever dated/fooled around with a coworker? --> yes 7. If so, how did that turn out? --> a big ole awkward mess, but it was worth it, bc i've always got his attention 8. Ever been involved in a hit & run? --> never! 9. Were you popular in high school? --> i was the opposite 10. Have you ever been on a blind date? --> once, bleh. 11. Are looks important? --> i'm an appearance oriented person, so yes. 12. Do you have any friends that you've known for 15 years? --> i've got better....20 years 13. By what age would you like to be married? --> if i'm not married by 30, i'm done. 14. Does the number of people a person's slept with affect your judgement of them? --> no, atleast i try not to. 15. Have you ever sacrificed yourself so your friend can get in good with a person of the opposite sex? --> yes, i've sacrificed friendship, my reputation, many things for other people 16. Have you ever drank milk that was past the expiration date? --> yuck ew. 17. Have you ever dated/messed around with a friend's ex? --> unfortunately yes 18. Ever mess around with a married person? --> if I didn't know he was married does it count? KIDDING! 19. Are you a good tipper? --> i'm a server, of course 20. What's the most you have spent for a haircut? --> 78 21. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? --> a teacher had a crush on me, what does that say 22. Do you know all the words to the first verse of Ice ice baby? --> stop. collaborate and listen. ice is back with a brand new invention. somethin grabs ahold of your tightly flow like a harpoon daily and nightly, will it ever stop yo? i don't know, just turn up the bass and i'll go. to the extreme i rock the mike like a bandit, light up the stage, i dance like a candle. yo...................i think 23. Have you ever had crispy bangs? --> when i was 7 24. What was the worst style of the 80's? --> tube socks 25. Have you ever peed in public? --> when i was camping 1. Honestly, are you in love right now? --> i thought iw as 2. Honestly, what color is your underwear? --> blue and white leopard print Uk boy shorts. yeah. those. 3. Honestly, whats on your mind right now? --> my spanish exam 4. Honestly, what are you doing right now? --> listening to jack's mannequin, eating a plastic stick, and waiting for 3:00 5. Honestly, what did you do today? --> laid in bed with my spanish book, called out of work sick, skipped the shower, put on dirty clothes, and here i am 6. Honestly, do you think you are attractive? --> nope. i really dont 7. Honestly, have you done something bad today? --> skippped work 8. Honestly, do you watch Disney channel? --> yes i do. so hah. 9. Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? -->people who don't struggle to make their lives matter. yea, them 10. Honestly, what makes you happy most of the time? --> friends. being needed/wanted. being healthy. not self destructing. sunshine. 11. Honestly, do you bite your nails? --> nope 12. Honestly, what is your mood right now? --> calm 13. Honestly, who do you want to see at this very moment? --> someone amazing from my past 14. Honestly, do you have a deep dark secret? --> i have atleast 2 15. Honestly, do you hate someone right now? --> no, but i'm hated 16. Honestly, who/what do you want to hug right now? --> my pappy. 17. Honestly, do your wrists hurt? --> yes they do, i was diagnosed with carpal tunnel after we cleared up the skin cancerness. 18. Honestly, are you in denial? --> always im sure 19. Honestly, wouldn't you rather be having sex right now? --> not really, i don't enjoy sex 20. Honestly, do you love someone? --> yes i do. 22. Honestly, does anyone love you? --> probably not 23. Honestly, is it going anywhere with them? -->nope 24. Honestly, did you answer all these questions honestly? --> i always do. Current Mood: calm Current Music: jack's mannequin (Comment on this)
Monday, February 6th, 2006
1:05 am	[A is for age:] 20 [B is for booze of choice:] Jack and Coke, yea I drink, got a problem with that? [C is for career:] Waitress currently, News Anchor/talk show host/ psychologist in the next 4 years [D is for your dog's name:] Tipsy [E is for an essential item you use everyday:] Straightening Iron [F is for favorite song at the moment:] Tonite I wanna cry [G is for favorite games] life. [H is for hometown:] Greenville, North Carolina [I is for instruments you play:] spoons [J is for how many Jaeger bombs you've had] I don't know.....150? [K is for cats?] Charlie [L is for last kiss?:] wow....um....december?....not even kidding...maybe november? [M is for mom's job:] Oncological Research RN [N is for name of your crush:] yea...as if I had one... [O is for overnight hospital stays] a few years ago [P is for phobias:] being alone, being in the dark, spiders, snakes, clowns, midgets [Q is for quotes you like:] "misery, like happiness, is contagious. surround yourself with laughter, and live your life in good humor, because happiness is a disease favored over misery" [R is for biggest regret:] october 2004 [S is for status:] single. broke. bored. alone. cold. fat. ugly. [T is for time you wake up:] 700. [U is for underwear:] bright green lace. [V is for vegetable you love]: spinach [W is for worst habit:] reminiscing [X is for x-rays you've had:] 50 [Y is for yummy food you make:] anything...I can cook anything you want. [Z is for your favorite animal at the Zoo:] bears. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 3rd, 2006
2:15 am	When showering, do you start the water and then get in or get in and start the water? I get in and start the water...it wakes me up 2. Do you read the labels on your shampoo bottle? always, and cereal boxes and water bottles- i will read anything as long as it is words. 3. Do you moan in the shower like the people on the herbal essence commercial? they scare me 4. Have you ever showered with someone of the opposite sex? no, I like showers alone. 5. Have you ever been forced to shower with one of your siblings? when we were young 6. Have you ever brushed your teeth in the shower? I always do to save time 7. Have you ever dropped your soap on your foot? it hurts alot 9. How old do you act? either 45 or 20, depending on the situation 10. What's the last song you sang? Patsy Cline, I got my heart broken-AGAIN tonite 11. Have you recently become a member of anything? the homeless, schoolless, jobless, worthless piece of crap society 12. What are your plans for the weekend? get a new job, find a place to live, and figure out my life 15. Do you ever intentionally vomit after eating? regretfully....I have be treated for it, thanks. 16. If you were working on a pirate ship, what would you most likely be? A beautiful princess 17. Have you ever called anyone a slut? regretfully so 18. Have you ever been called a slut? i'm sure I've been slandered in many ways 19. Have you ever smuggled something into America? I've never been out of america 20. Does playing the guitar make a girl/guy more attractive? for some reason, I don't date non musical guys. 21. Do you live in a city with a good sports team? riverdogs? nah. u of r, i guess 22. Have you ever finished off the popcorn? popcorn makes my stomach turn 23. How many people do you think would come to your funeral? like 4 24. How many of them would come just to make sure you're dead? all of them 25. Do you have more enemies or more friends? I have neither 26. Have you ever sent an anonymous letter? yes 27. Can you fix your own car? no, I'm worthless 28. Have you ever turned someone down for a date? alot 29. Are you smarter than your friends? I am quite stupid. 30. Have you ever stolen anything from your friends? stealing is ridiculous 31. Have you ever been to jail? yes... 32. Should you have? yes... 32. Do you like the taste of beer? i actually do, but only with certain things. 34. Have you ever died or killed someone in a dream? i die all the time 35. Have you ever given to charity? I am always adopting pets, donating to shelters, and doing anything to help animals.for some reason 36. Would you kill a dog for $1000? never 37. Do you sometimes get depressed? supposedly I'm depressed alot 38. Do you live with your parents? not since I was 16 39. Do you have plans for your future? I did. but now, I just don't know X MARKS THE SPOT You are... [x] under 5'4" [] 5'4 - 5'6" [] 5'7" - 6'0 [ ] 6'1" and up Naturally... [ Blonde [] Red [x] Brunette [} Dirty blonde/brownish [ ] Dark brown [ ] Black You are... [ ] Blue-eyed [x] Brown-eyed [x] Green-eyed [ ] Hazel-eyed [ ] Other You have... [x] Glasses [ ] Contacts [] Neither You have... [] Short hair [x] Medium hair [ ] long hair Your favorite color(s) are... [ ] Red [ ] Khaki [x] Aqua [x] Pink [] Hot pink [ ] Yellow [ ] Black [x] Green [x] Lime green [ ] Blue [ ] White [x] Turquoise [ ] Silver [ ] Purple [ ] Brown [ ] Orange [ ] Gray [ ] Maroon [ ] Gold [x] Teal [ ] I don't really care [ ] I don't believe in favorite colors Some things you've done... [x] Ice skating [x] Hiking [x] Kayaking [x] Rafting [x] Water skiing [x] Camping [x] Horseback riding [x] Body/surfing and skim/wake boarding [ ] Snowboarding [ ] Skiing [x] Skateboarding [x] Cheerleading [x] Lacrosse [ ] Street hockey [x] Gymnastics [ ] Martial arts [x] Baton twirling [x] Swimming [x] Canoeing Your personality is sometimes... [x] Talkative [ ] Shy [x] Funny [x] Serious [x] Laid back [x] Strict [x] Hyper [x] Weird [x] Ditzy [x] Sarcastic [ ] Slow You like listening to... [x] Pop [x] Country [x] Christian [x]Classical [ ] Techno [x] Oldies [ ] Opera [x ] 80's [x] Disco [x] Rap [x] R&B [x] Emo [x] Classic rock [x] Rock [x ] Punk [x ] Metal [x] Screamo [x] Reggae Clothing brands/stores you like... [x] Delia's [x] American Eagle [x] Hollister [x] The Buckle [ ] Abercrombie & Fitch [x] Target [ ] Wal*Mart [x] Wet Seal [x] Forever 21 [x] PacSun [x ] Gap [x ] Banana Republic [x] Aeropostale [x] Dickies [x ] Quicksilver [ ] Anchor Blue [xxxxxxxxx] Guess [ ] Champs [ ] Goodwill/Ross [x] Old Navy [x] Victoria's secret [ ] Fredricks [x ] Rainbow [ ] Agaci [ ] Hot topic [x]Other [] dont give a shit Shoe brands... [xxxxxx] Flip Flops [ ] Nike [ ] Adidas [ ] Reebok [] Roxy [ ] Puma [x] Uggs [x] Etnies [ x] Reefs [] Converse [ ] K Swiss [ x] Adio [ ] DC [ ] Vans [ ] New Balance [ ] LEI [ x] Payless Your confessions... [x ] I'm afraid of the quiet [x ] I am really ticklish [ x] I'm afraid of the dark [] I've collected comic books [] I shut others out when I'm sad [x] I read the newspaper [xxxxxxxxxxx] I love Disney movies. [x] I am a sucker for eyes [x] I don't kill bugs. [ ] I have "x"s in my screen name [x] I bake [x] I have worn pajamas to class [] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS [xxxxxxxxxx] I am self-conscious [xxxxxx] I love to laugh [ x] I drink alcohol on a regular basis [x ] I've smoke/d or tried cigarettes [ ] I can't swallow pills [] I bite my nails [x] I play computer games when I'm bored [x] Gotten lost in the city [x] Gone out in public in your pajamas [ x] Made out in an elevator [ ] Been skydiving [ ] Been bungee jumping [x] Bitten someone [x] Dressed up like a guy/girl [ x] Egged a house/car [ x] Smashed into a car [ ] Been fired [x] Been skinny dipping Have you ever... [x] Danced in the rain [x] Seen a shooting star []Proposed to anyone [x ] Gotten stitches [x] Eaten Sushi [x] Gotten the chicken pox [x] Ridden in a taxi [ x] Been on a cruise ship [x] Driven over 400 miles in one day [ x] Been on a Plane by yourself [x ] Had surgery [] Seen a movie more than 3 times in the theater [x] Been on stage [x] Peed somewhere other than a toilet [x ] Gotten a black eye [] Memorized all the dialogue in a movie [x] Watched an entire baseball game Do you like... [x] Old movies [x] Vintage cars [x] Blasting music in your car [x] Foreign foods [x] Animals [] Christmas time [x] Donuts [x] Coffee [x] Tea [x] Broadway shows TWO OF EVERY KIND Two Names You Go By Other Than Your Real Name 1.Lips. 2. Karebear Two Parts of Your Heritage 1. welsch 2. Irish Two Things That Scare You 1. the dark. 2. commitment and heartbreak Two Daily Routines 1. teeth whitening... 2. moisturizing Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now 1. dark jean gouchos 2. lime green tube top...i know, sexy.. W O U L D Y O U R A T H E R 1. Pierce your nose or tongue?: my nose is pierced. 2. Be serious or be funny?: a good mix 3. Whole or skim milk? lactose intolerant A R E Y O U 1. Simple or complicated? overly complicated, but in a simple way 2. Gay? nah, couldn't do it 3. Hardcore? a hardcore loser 4. Honest? to a fault --------------------------------------------------------------- D O Y O U P R E F E R 1. flowers or angels:angels 2. gray or black?: black 3. Color or Black and white photos?: b&w 4. lust or love?: true love 5. sunrise or sunset?: there is something a bout a sunrise that is just soooooo refreshing 6. M&Ms or Skittles?: tropical skittles 7. rap or rock?: rockrap 8. Staying up late or waking up early?: staying up so late that it's early. 9. Eating apples or oranges?: apples in round slices, not moon shaped ---------------------------------------------------------------------- A N S W E R T R U T H F U L L Y 1. Do you like anyone?: I think I might 2. Do they know?: they never know ------------------------------------------------------------------------ D O Y O U P R E F E R 1. Being hot or cold? I love the cold. 2. Sun or moon? sun 3. Winter or Fall? beginning of fall and middle of winter 4. left or right? Im ambidextrous 5. having 10 acquaintances or having 2 best friends? best friends 6. sun or rain? rain 7. vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?: vanilla 8. boys or girls: males are less drama 9. vodka or Jack? jack and coke ----------------------------------------------------------------- A B O U T Y O U What time is it? 239 Name? Karin Elizabeth Willoughby Nickname(s): ugly -------------------------------------------------------------- W H A T D O Y O U W A N T Where do you want to live? home How many kids do you want? I only want children if I can be a better parent than the ones I had What kind of job do you want? an amazing Do you want to get married? I wanna love myself first ----------------------------------------------------------------- U N I Q U E 1. Nervous Habits? wiggling and humming and touching my nose 2. Are you double jointed? in many ways 3. Can you roll your tongue? yep 4. Can you raise one eyebrow? no 5. Can you lick your nose with your tongue? yes 6. Do you make your bed daily? sometimes ----------------------------------------------------------------------- C L O T H E S, E T C 1. Which shoe goes on first? right 2. Ever thrown one at someone? a few times 3. Do you carry a wallet? a green one 4. What jewelry do you wear? my school ring, diamond earrings, tiffany's necklace ------------------------------------------------------------ F O O D 2. Have you ever eaten Spam? yes 3. Favorite ice cream flavor? vanilla or butter pecan 4. How many kinds of cereal are in your cabinet? raisan bran crunch 5. Favorite beverage? water and sweet tea and lemonade 6. What's your favorite restaurant? the don --------------------------------------------------------------------------- G R O O M I N G 1. How often do you brush your teeth? atleast 6 times a day 2. How do you wear your hair for the most part? down and straight 3. Have you ever dyed/highlighted your hair? too much -------------------------------------------------------------------- M A N N E R S 1. Do you swear? I have my moments 2. Do you ever spit? ew no 3. You cook your own food? when i feel like it 4. You do your own chores? i live on my own 5. You got laid today? i laid on my moms couch all day, does that count 7. You like pepsi or coke? diet coke 8. You plan on going to college? im in college 9. You're happy with your hair? somedays 10. You own a dog? yes and i love him 11. You spend your money wisely? im expert 12. You're always making new friends? i used to 13. You like to swim? i love to swim in the wild 14. Have you ever got bored so you call a friend? I usually call sarah, but she never answers 15. You're patient? too much 16. You like this survey? its too long (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 20th, 2005
1:41 am	sarah ~January~ 1. Did you have a new year's resolution this year? kind of, maybe, i dont remember 2.Who kissed you at midnight? ALOT of ppl, like everyone at the party 3. Does it snow where you live? i love it 4.Do you like hot chocolate? i like coffee better...hot choc can be too sweet sometimes 5. Have you ever been to Times Square to watch the ball drop? too crowded ~February~ 1. Who was your Valentine in 2005? lindsay 2. What did your valentine get you? flowers and a little bear thingy 3. When you were little, did you buy Valentine's for your whole class? i still buy them for everyone ~March~ 1. Are you Irish? like 60% 2. Do you wear green on St. Paddy's Day? i always wear a little green almost everyday 3.What did you do for St. Paddy's Day in 2005? got drunk with pete im sure ~April~ 1. Do you like the rain? mmm rain dancing 2. Did you play an April Fool's joke on anyone this year? haha yep 3. Do you get tons of candy on easter? my stepmom has spongebob checks and seals envelopes with smiley stickers...of course i get candy, and stickers, and anything any other 3year old gets...and i also get a new kite every year from my dad...its a tradition ~May~ 1. What's your favorite kind of flower? daisies 2. Do you like the spring? always! 3. Finish the phrase: April showers bring Mayflowers. and karins! my bday is in may 4. What would you think of as a spring color? pink and green and yellow and blue and anything pastel or bright ~June~ 1. What year did you graduate from school? 2004 2. Did you go on a Vacation? no, i worked 3 jobs this summer ~July~ 1. What did you do on the 4th of July? champagne and fireworks on the boat 2. Do you go on any vacations during this month? i went to the lake for a few days with kel ~August~ 1. Did you do anything special to end your summer? i moved? 2. what was your favorite summer memory of '05? I got none..... 3. Did you go swimming alot this summer? no i worked a lot 4. Did you go to the beach a lot? not once ~September~ 1. Did you attend school/college in '05? yes i did 2. Who is/was your favorite teacher dr. loos rocked...and dr aspelmeir was sweet as hell 3. Do you like fall/autumn better than summer? i like the end of fall when its crisp and beautiful and every day reminds me that winter is coming ~October~ 1. What was your favorite halloween costume ever? lady bug! 2. What is your favorite candy? starburst and gummy bears 3. What did you dress up like this year? a bunny! ~November~ 1. Whose house do you usually go to for Thanksgiving? i didnt have anywhere to go this year..so i was in baltimore with friends...but it used to be at my house, before i got disowned 2. Do you like stuffing? I guess 3. What are you thankful for? my health? charlie. freedom, an education, and to be me in general ~December~ 1. Do you celebrate Christmas? i guess 2. Have you ever been kissed under mistletoe? yes i have 3. What do you want this year for Christmas? my life back 4. What's the best present you ever got for Christmas? james taylor christmas album...from someone i didnt think cared 5. Do you like cold weather? I love coats and cuddling and walks in the night snow and drunken snowmen and everything about it (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 15th, 2005
1:48 am	Things are different now, with the approaching christmas holiday, I suppose I'm starting to feel slightly moved by the "spirit" of christmas. I had been very overwhelmed with Exams and work recently, but somehow on monday, things got miraculously better. My gradepoint won't be as low as I had expected, and I will attend testing tomorrow in order to complete my transfer. I'm quite delighted about all of this. I bought myself a new book, and finished it in about two days (since I decided to take 3 days off of work this week, in order to prepare for exams, I have great amounts of free time). I got an offer for a new job that I really want. I was required to take several tests, one of them involving numbers, so I'm apprehensive about the results-my employment is dependent upon them. The job is nothing fancy, and really nothing beneficial to my future, but the hours are nice, and I will be working on commission-which I will be very appreciative of (considering I recieve absolutely no reward for being one of the highest sellers currently. Yesterday, I went shopping at one of Richmond's biggest outdoor malls with Lisa. I got a good start on christmas shopping, and found out that there is a possibility that I will be able to see my family for the holidays. This was the best part of the day. Lisa and I decided that Richmond has gotten to be far too cold lately, and having outdoor malls is quite senseless considering there are none in Florida where my mom and sister live, yet there are dozens in Richmond. We went to starbucks and bought new mittens to keep us warm during our shopping. I bought myself a new bottle of Cavalli in celebration of my grades- it's always nice to indulge oneself. Lisa and I then went for sushi downtown and made plans for a shopping venture in Carytown. The sushi was excellent, the sights were beautiful-as Richmond always is when lit with christmas, and the overall day was pleasant. I'm coming to realize how much I actually do enjoy this city-and am having second thoughts about Kentucky. There are no outdoor malls in Kentucky- there are very few malls in general where I will be-actually, there are none. Tonite I studied a bit for my Friday exam then watched a few movies with my intolerable roommates, who by the way, I was more frustrated with after the movies than before. All they wanted to do was tell one another how hot they were-or how they were excited about getting married someday-gag me, please. Atleast they are making plans to move out. I will be blessed when this happens. I suppose I should be getting a bit of sleep, since I am required at work for a bit in the morning-and will spend a majority of my evening in the library downtown. Thought it was about time for a proper update- have a beautiful evening and enjoy the impending snow. xoxo Karin Current Mood: relaxed (Comment on this)
Friday, December 2nd, 2005
12:29 am	So someone had a mexican hat dance party on my face and didn't invite me. I feel like shit...but atleast I've got cheap wine and south park to accompany me in my ailments. I registered for the hellhole that is JTCC today...so now I can be a community college student (well just to take anatomy, biology, statistics, and forensic psychology, making medschool a year and a half away. About that...I went to the Dr. this afternoon (after skipping out on all my classes and getting kicked out of work for having a fever)- and I have bronchitis, a sinus infection and an upper respiratory infection. Cute right? Me and VCU are going to split like Nick and Jessica did...for shuuuure. I talked to the real estate agent last week- I'll be in Kentucky by July in my new pad, living it up...ummmm, kentucky style? I'll let you know what KY style is at a later date.... I guess that sums up my day, oh and I've lost 8lbs- i guess my diet of wine and aderoll is really working...JUST kidding, I eat I promise. anyway have a fab day. muchos amores para tu dineros or something.. hasta, karin (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 29th, 2005
12:26 am	I always steal these from sarah Q1) Last thing you burned while attempting to cook? I don't burn things, and I haven't cooked in over a month. I'm too busy :( Q2) Describe yourself in three words? outrageous,loving,independent Q3) How long does it take to get ready for your day? 2 hours...I wake, I run(sometimes),I shower, I go tan, I fix my hair makeup and dress-then I slimfast and watch the news Q6) What is something that turns you off from the opposite sex? ignorance and lack of conversational ability Q8) What's in your CD player right now? gavin degraw Q9) What celebrity would you have coffee with? julia roberts or jack nicholson Q10) What celebrity would you NOT have coffee with? paris hilton Q11) What kind of toothpaste do you use? vivid white! Q12) What time do you usually go to bed? 3 or 4am Q13) Last movie you saw? elizabethtown with sarah Q14) Last TV show you watched? the news with caroline Q15) Who is your best friend? I don't have one anymore Q16) Who in your family do you best get along with? Kelly, or Marla my aunt. Q17) Who do you have a crush on? gavin degraw Q18) What time is it right now? 12:32 am and im still in the library Q19) Are you planning a vacation/travel? australia.....and i'm going home to fla for xmas (maybe) Q20) When/Where was the last time you traveled? ky on the 11th, baltimore on the 22 Q21) How many times have you been in love? truly, deeply, in love....one time Q22) How old will you be in 10 years? 29 and a HALF Q23) Where do you see yourself in 10 years? as finally being a doctor, hanging out with charlie and eating marshmallows like we do- maybe i'll have settled down with a husband by then...if not, i'll adopt chinese babies and be the best mom ever. Q24) Sinful snacking weakness? fruit roll ups and gobstoppers Q25) Roller Coasters? fo sho Q27) Ever been on a train? never have i ever Q28) Ever been on a blind date? yes, and it was awkward and he was a freak Q29) Ever been to Europe? soon Q30) What would you do if you could be the opposite sex for one day? reroute the thought path Q31) Would you tell anyone it was really you? of course! i'd make history! Q32) Ever been arrested? almost, though not really, he was my ex stepbrother and i was drunk at a party in ky Q33) Have a crush on anyone you work with? at rubys....but he was too young Q34) What is something you believe in? willpower Q35) What is something you fear? the dark, snakes, loneliness, suffocation, shut doors, cars on metal bridges...and only metal bridges Q36) Big or small? i am a small town girl with a big heart Q37) What is the worst physical pain you have ever experienced? heartbreak Q38) What is your favorite television show? friends Q39) Ever photoshopped yourself to look better in a picture? i always try Q40) Tell us something about your childhood? I has very loving grandparents Q41) What would it cost you to flash the person next to you? caroline?psha. she asks for it all the time! Q42) Best time to catch you in a good mood? when things are going smoothly with my family Q43) If you could be anything for one day, what would it be? loved Q44) Most prized possession? my heart Q45) Would you ever sell it/how much? it would take a lot of trust Q46) What is one of your pet peeves? grammar, people who betray, not matching Q47) Favorite kind of ice cream? vanilla Q48) What song are you listening to right now? mariah carey in my head Q49) If you could sucker punch one person who would it be? my parents Q50) Would you like to tell us one of your secrets? i'm really only five foot two and a quarter...but i pass as five two and a half...sometimes even five three (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 16th, 2005
11:58 pm	1. What time is it? 11:59 2. Name: Karin 3. Nickname(if any): kdub, kare bear 4. If you were a skittle, what color would you be? pink 5. Single or taken?: so single it aint funny 6. Zodiac: gemini 7. Hair color: dark 8. Eye color: brown with speckles of green occasionally 9. Height: 5'2 and a HALF 10. Favorite Colour: pink and green 11. Glasses, contacts or neither:why to read with my dear 12. Braces?: once upon a time 13. Piercing/tattoos?: a thousand....or 3 peircings 1 tat 14. Birthplace: Greenville NC 16. Siblings names: courtney ******HAVE YOU EVER****** 17. Cut your own hair?: im the masta 21. Skipped school?: occasionally alot 22. Bungee jumped? crazy sstuff 23. Went to a concert?: only 100000000000 24. Kissed someone of the same sex not related to you? sometimes 25. Kiss more than two people in one day: my 16th bday 26. Stared at the stars for hours? yes. with the love of my young adult life 27. TP'd someone's house?: i tpd the wrong house once 28. Won something?: I always win 29. Asked someone out? once 30. Been rejected?: kind of 31. Been to a funeral? too many 32. Used a lighter?: for shizzle 33. Been on stage?: oh yea...ive passed out on stage, wet my pants on stage, broken my toe on stage, ummm fallen off bleacher.... ******FAVORITE***** 35. Food: anything spicy 36. Ice cream flavor: vanilla, strawberry, peach, or banana 38. School subject(s): history english 39. Breakfast cereal: raisin nut bran 40. Number(s): 6.24 41. Book(s): great gatsby, jemima j, perks of being a wallflower, poisonwood bible, hp 4, anything cs lewis...so much more 42. Movie(s): jack nicholson. 44. Drink: wine or tea 45. State: kentucky 46. Place: kentucky 47. Sport to watch on TV: football (nfl) or basketball (college) 48. Sport to play: lacrosse 49. Bands/musicians: james taylor 50. Letter(s): k, dugh! 51. Fast food restaraunt: arbys, taco bell, or wendys 52. Cartoon Character: strawberry shortcake 53. Holiday: easter? 54. Name for a son: taylor bryant 55. Name for a daughter: keller or tyler ray ******DO YOU PREFER****** 56. Chocolate or Vanilla? vanilla...i aint down with the brown 58. Long relationships or one night stands?: forever ones 59. Dogs or cats? both! 60. Scary movies or comedies: will ferrell 61. Silver or gold?: white gold or platinum! 62 Croutons or bacon bits?: bacon is gross, croutons SOMETIMES ******FIRST THINGS THAT COME TO MIND****** 64. Hedgehog: prickly 65. School: owns my soul 66. Grass: the smell of fresh cutsummer grass 67. Cow: brownie, my pet cow 68. Canada: spring break! 69. Mouse: minnie 70. Hands: soft ******THE PAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU****** 71. Watched a movie? always 72. Talked on the phone?: yes 73. Cried?: a few times 74. Threw up?: i throw up alot, and dont know why 75. Drank a glass of water?: yes like 8 76. Talked to the opposite sex?: yes unfortunately 77. Read a book or magazine?: yep 78. Watched TV?: sex and the city 79. Looked in the mirror? unfortunately 80. Taken a shower?: 3 81. Taken a picture?: maybe like 1 82. Listened to music?: always 83. Kissed someone?: i was kissed...and it was awkward 84. Done your HW? haha no... 85. Told someone you loved them?: my sister maybe? ***DO YOU BELIEVE IN....****** 86. Heaven?: absolutely 88. Aliens?: yes...cfreepy 89. Fun for the entire family? whats a familyu 90. Freedom of speech? only if you agree with my opinion 91. Love?: always 92. Magic?: oncer upont a time i did... *******SOME RANDOM STUFF****** 93. Last movie you saw in theatres?: elizabethtown with sarah 94. Are you listening to music right now?: my humps 95. What clothes are you wearing right now? sweat pants and a vcu shirt 96. Do you like your middle name?: its pretty cute 97. What is the best thing since sliced bread? the internet 98. What color is your backpack? pink lizzie mcguire 99. How much does a polar bear weigh? 859.3 lbs.....but thats a female at approximately the age of 12 who is not menstruating. (Comment on this)
Monday, November 14th, 2005
8:12 pm	mmm my hair smells like haircut. I love it. nothing relaxes me more than getting my hurdid. for shiz. I can't believe that I'll be out of here in almost 2 months. I'll be home -for good. for a while? for whatever. lc is hot. i love laguna beach. oh...and i'm moving to kentucky. for shiz. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 8th, 2005
11:13 pm	Do you wonder if you cross my mind? You do...over and over. My heart beats in broken rythms, my breath in shortened pockets. my world, a world of dreams was crashed-but will be rebuilt stronger than before. I no longer yearn for you, for us, for that. I only wish for peace and resolution. Do you ever cross my mind? the answer is yes...but only when I'm feeling weak. (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 3rd, 2005
12:10 am	FIRSTS First Best Friend: Carr First Screen Name: smiletrk10 First Pet: katie dog First Crush: sam mincey First Record: beach boys First Car: 2000 volkswagen cabrio First Love: matt.....first complete devotion and understanding and commitment and unconditional love: eric First stuffed animal: sprinkles my teddy bear NINE LASTS Last Alcoholic Beverage: i had a beer this evening...just one though Last Car ride: tonite Last Movie Saw:a lot like love last Phone Call made: liz? lisa? Last CD Played: john mayer Last Bubble bath: im running one now Last time you Cried: sunday EIGHT HAVE YOU EVERS Have you ever dated one of your best friends: yes and he was fantastic Have you ever been arrested: nah Have you ever skinny dipped: yes Have you ever been on tv: in fourth grade Have you ever kissed someone, and then regretted it: i try not to regret things Have you ever had a sex dream about someone: yes, and it's a weird thing to have Have you ever had sex?: i dont remember SEVEN THINGS YOU ARE WEARING 1. boyshorts 2. green bra 3. spag strap shirt 4. sweat pants 5. my hair tie 6.my ring 7.a smile SIX THINGS YOU'VE DONE TODAY 1. cleaned my bathroom 2. dropped english 3. ate with my roomies 4. bought a new vaccum 5. remembered some old times 6. homework FIVE FAVOURITE THINGS IN NO ORDER 1. snuggling 2. pumpkin 3. amazingness 4. winter nights 5. pink and green FOUR PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ALMOST ANYTHING TO 1. sarah 2. charlie 3. amy 4. pete THREE CHOICES 1. Black or White: white 2. Hot or Cold: i love being cold bc i love getting warmed up 3. Chocolate or Vanilla: vanilla TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE 1. tell everyone the truth about me 2. have a family- and be an amazing mom ONE THING YOU REGRET 1. losing everything.....but i gained a lot from it. (Comment on this)
Monday, October 31st, 2005
2:59 pm	Body: --Redneck-- 1] Do you have a couch in your front yard or porch? actually...yes...we do 2] Do you drive a four-wheeler? haha oh dear...i own one. 3] Do you ride fourwheelers? yes 4] Do you like to get dirty? mmm....dirty girl.... 5] Do you like country music? heh yes 6] Do you have a broken car in your back yard? no. my parents have a busted saturn in the front drive. but its not ugly or anything 7] Do you own a cowboy hat? 4 8] Do you live on more then 2 acres? i live in an apartment 9] Do you have more then 4 different animals at your home? snake, 2 cats, 1 dog, 3 turtles, and a fish. -Goth-- 1] Do you wear black eyeliner?: sometimes 2] Is most of your clothing dark?: not anymore 3] Do you think about death often?: randomly all the time 4] Do you want to die?:sometimes 5] Are you a social outcast?: totally 6] Are you pale?: right now i am 7] Do you like Hot Topic?: ew 8] Do you enjoy Tim burton movies? i love them 9] Are you mean?: i try to be...but always fail -Skater/Punk-- 1] Can you skateboard: yes 2] Do you wear Vans? yes 3] Do you do stupid stuff with your friends?: yes 4] Have you gotten in trouble with the Cops? a few times...but nothing big 5] Do you watch the x-games?: at work 6] Do you have any piercings?: yes 7] Do you like/wear mohawks?ew 8] Do you wear Band t-shirts: sometimes 9] Have you called someone a poser? never --Prep-- 1] Do you say the word "like": like totally 2] Do you shop at Hollister/Abercrombie&Fitch?: yes 3] Do you pop the collar?: sometimes 4] Do the people in Hot topic scare you?: nah. 5] Is the only nerd u like Seth Cohen?: i'm in love with him...but i love all nerds 6] Do you watch Laguna Beach?: yes 7] Do you like pop music: my lumps my lumps 8] Do you want/have a little dog?: haha yes --Hippie-- 1] Is your hair long?: no 2] Do you own a tye-dye shirt? yes 4] Do You want to save the animals? yes 5] Do you think war is unneccesary?: nah 6] Is love essential in your life?: yes 7] Have you smoked pot?: yes [8] Do you like classic rock and trippy music?: at times --Gangsta-- 1] Do you act ghetto: im ethnic 2] Do you wear do-rags?: once 3] Do you like hip-hop music?: sometimes 4] Was Tupac truly the greatest rapper in the world? no! biggie! 5] Do you believe he's alive?: him and elvis are chillin on my couch niggah what!? 6] Do you like afros? i practically have one 7] Have you ever said "Fo Shizzle"?: fo shizzle 8] Do you like to dance?: always 9] Do you own any Baby Phat or G-Unit?:i own a babyphat tank --Emo-- 1] Do you cry often?: too much 2] Do you wear hoodies: sometimes 3] Do you like soft music: yes 4] Do people not understand you? no one does...but who understands anyone anyways 5] Do you write your own songs?: nah 6] Ever dyed your hair red, black or dark: my hair IS dark 7] Do you cut your hair: when it was shorter 8] Are you lonely: always 9] Is Ohio for lovers? no! virginia is! --Surfer-- 1] Do you surf?when i lived in fla 2] Do you wear flip flops year-round?: of course 3] Is your hair shaggy?: yes 4] Do you wake up before 6 every morning: sometimes 5] Do you own any pairs of shorts?: yes 6] Are you tan? usually 7] do you love the water? yes 8] Do you want to be at the beach right now?: that would be fantastic 9] Do you hate tourists? when i lived in fla, yes i'm everyone!!!!!! (Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 25th, 2005
2:15 am	the truth I've never been good at expressing my true feelings. Sure, I say I'm fine with walking to my car in the dark- but really, I'm holding back tears while struggling to loosen my grip on my can of mase long enough to open the car door. But one time, I hate to admit, I fell in love. Love is impossible to describe, as is any emotion. Love cannot be bottled, cannot be detected, and cannot be defined. Love goes beyond any book, any song, any movie. Yet, love is unavailable for interviews, and will not return any phone calls. Cynicals make fun of love, romantics seek it out in every corner of the universe, and us normal people? What the hell are we doing in the mix? Are we left miles from shore defenseless in a sea of sharks forced to flail are way ashore? Given the assumption that one can actually swim. And those of us that can swim, what is there to insure our bodies will arrive on land unscathed? The truth is there is no promise that we won't lose a limb or three in the struggle to walk once again-but us "normals" beat our way foward enduring pains and struggles along the way. And for what? The big reward is the ability to say, to feel, to know what it is to be loved. And to love in return. Eventually we fall overboard, out of love, and back into the cold torrential sea- but with each fall, we're a little more trained and overtime our efforts look a little less like flailing and more like a breaststroke. Who's to say that love heals all pains, that love conquers all? I say that we are the healers, the conquerers, the warriors. We, the lovers, the castaway lovers of love itself make the journeys worth the liftetimes they take. (Comment on this)
Monday, October 24th, 2005
3:11 pm	These are things they make beautiful movies of. Accompanied with either piano music or some modern alternative band which no one has heard of. There are days when I wake up, waiting for a sad serenade- but none ever comes. I roll over, I reset my alarm for two, three, five hours later, and fall back into the slumber that has come to reign over my world... Things aren't always this way. Things weren't always this way. Some times I'll wake up running at fullspeed- I clean. I bake. I organize. I coordinate. I write. I read. I don't sleep. At all. Some have suggested that there's something wrong with me. But I know I'm fine. I know, because I am. I'm not sad day in and day out. I'm not unbelievably disfunctioning. I work. I work myself to death at times. I love, I love to death. Everyone, everything in my daily life. I notice things too. Today I made the observation that everyone around me is pairing up. Maybe I just never saw it before when I was part of a pair. I'm not bitter, not by any means. Being alone saves time, saves money, saves frustration and stress. But even my damn cats have one another. I'm getting annoyed with looks in the grocery store. Looks from couples. "poor thing, shopping alone..." looks. But the truth is, I prefer to shop alone. For once in my life I prefer to be alone than to be with another. I prefer to live alone. The bed is bigger when you are alone. You can have all 4 pillows and all 10 blankets to yourself when you are alone. You can stay up until 4 in the morning reading- or watching Carrie and the girls, when you are alone. And best of all- you can learn more about yourself when you are alone...... and Those mornings when I wake up, and go back to sleep....I'm just enjoying life on my own. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 11th, 2005
3:38 pm	A year ago, I was happier than I could have imagined being. And today, it's not that I'm not "happy"...I'm just in a different state of being. Part of me wants back what I had, but another part of me seems to have decided that it's done and over and going back would be like opening some sort of pandora's box of emotion. And I suppose that's what makes it easier just to not talk to him anymore...although, GOD I WANT TO. There are times when I don't stop myself from dialing that number...clicking that screen name, typing that message. I don't always hit send...but there are times when I slip and a message is sent or a call is made. I'm able to grasp, finally, that we aren't going to be TOGETHER again...and that we probably won't even be friends again. But I still miss it. I still miss him. I still miss incubus nights, and snuggles, and sleeping through movies. I miss the afternoon naps. I miss his eyes, his smile, even his crooked little nose. I miss his smell, I miss his laugh, his random insertations in conversation. I was in love, I was happy, I was glowing. It's a different world, learning to love yourself. Glowing because of your own confidence, etc. I try sooo hard. I take care of myself, to an extreme amount. I really put all effort towards me. All in all, I'm dealing. two years....today. (Comment on this)
Sunday, October 2nd, 2005
12:58 am	life's way to short to live in vain. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 7th, 2005
1:32 am	There comes a point in every girls life when she realizes that there is more to the future than a career. There is a sixth sense (well, i suppose a seventh or eigth if you can count the talent for spotting a faux designer handbag or the ability to sense a good martini from miles away, as senses) for maternealness. Some girls reach their state of maternal longing at an earlier age, and some at a later age. But it comes to everyone, eventually. Now, many of my friends in their early to mid twenties have made the decision that the maternal longing is just a phase, and that they will no longer want a husband or children later in life. They push it away and store it in their memory files along with the phone numbers of ex boyfriends, and the combination to their eleventh grade locker. but the rest? the rest of us coo and aw at every passing child. and we evualate the husband-father quotient of every male we come in contact with. Will he create cute offspring? Will he have a good job? will he spend time with the rugrats? These questions come into mind with every hand shake, with every "hello, my name is.." Will it get better? Will these feelings fade? Will I be able to return to fun nights at the club, drinking and dancing, and kissing whomever I feel like- even those who would not make good fathers? I don't know the answer to this question. I do know, that, as we age, these abilities to size a man up in regards to his paternal stature will become increasingly important. Whether I approaced this tier in life prematurely or not. (Comment on this)